abc

2009-09-13T10:55:00.000+08:00

2009-09-12T08:49:00.003+08:00

Effing effing boring . (!)

Now, give me a clue what I can do. Boredom is killing me, murdering my cells by using the comp ain't going to help manzx. I want to save up and buy that damn num bag, and please, I badly badly love that gucci lock lanyard! Faints*

2009-09-11T19:52:00.004+08:00

No longer .

Everything just changes, no matter how we try hard to maintain the same.
Shall not look back anymore, I want to keep on smiling, and that's it .

2009-09-11T11:55:00.003+08:00

I'm using my love to draw .

I gave you my love, the love that is beating in your heart is mine. And you gave your love to her, the love her heart is beating is your's. I'm the only one who doesn't have love, the only one. I locked my heart, to everybody. Am I sucessful in doing so? Sad to say, but yes. These few days, I've been trying my best to put up a smile, but everytime I closes my eyes, images of you will appear, out of nowhere. I hate to remember you, hate that you're able to move on. Cry, can I? I hate every promise I made to you.

And Zhengyang is going to admit he's a gay if I pass my N'level. Weeweets! :D If I fail, I'll pay for him to bring him go Geylang help him find woman and bring him go Taipei101 to jump down. HAHAHAHA!

2009-09-11T10:52:00.002+08:00

309days without you .

No matter how hard I tried to tell myself to move on, I just stands there, regardless rain or shine. Love, did you felt my heartache? Promises, are just a string of words. I don't want to believe, but the fact lies there, so clear for me to see. Forever, was just that pathetic few days. I'm tired, I'm vulnerable to the changes going on, I'm feebly weak. Understood everything, and hurt myself all over again and again. It's always easier said than done. How is it ever to forgo somebody so important? I have no idea. I feel so helpless, lost in your eyes.

2009-09-11T10:26:00.002+08:00

Tired . (!)

Woke up at 4.40am thanks to my bloody cough. So played handphone games played and played until now. Tired, shall seriously start studying for my sciences already. Failure stays far far away me, thanks. :D

2009-09-09T15:43:00.003+08:00

说不出的思念

I drew and drew, drew out my misses, drew out my love, drew out that you.
How independent I may be, I still need you afterall.
Today's 9th Sept already, just 11days to the day I knew you, and 12days to that day we got together.
How time passes.
You were there, right?
I suddenly feel that you weren't.

Exams was easyyyy, hear me laugh when I get my result slip.
I got so muchmuchmuchmuch to write about promises, serious.
And environmental issues are like daily work.
So are myths.

No mood for anything, it's as though the beggining of my mourning session.
I'm tired.

2009-09-08T17:12:00.002+08:00

说不出的想念 .

I don't wanna cry now, don't wanna care now, just let me miss you for this second.

PS. Bet you'll never know, I'm going to love you a zillion years.

2009-09-08T16:42:00.002+08:00

Confidence makes me feel brave .

No more hugging my gigantic pooh bear and crying like there's no tomorrow in the bedroom when night falls. No more thinking about the past which breaks my hurt again and again. No more getting paranoid over who you are with and what you're doing anymore.

I know, you're happier without me. It's all I ever need to let you go thoroughly. I still love, still, but I've already understood that some things ain't going to be mine no matter what I does. I've regretted long enough, hurted pain enough. I don't want to be a sad person and let peers worry about me, I've got to stay positive and carry on living like how I am now.

Yesterday's chinese paper was veh easy. Letter writing is like what we've done for a zillion times. :/ Compo was like pri work with many chim phrases, lol! Then paper 2 paper super duper uber easyyyy derhs. HAHAHRHS. Brought my sis to jp library, like bring country pumpkim to town like that. She veh shuagu siak. She saw a person from her school then she use her index finger to point at him. Then I tell her cannot like that point people, she jiu use her thumb instead. Laughs, what an adorable sis I have. x.x Met up with Yihuan in the afternoon and went to "study". I think I don't have study dao at all, because I keep on pestering her to chat with me. Hehhehs. :x And we chatted and chatted and chatted until night and home sweet home. (:

Today met up w 三八 in the morn at hke for breakfast. Then meet dao PeiPei, but she left earlier for school. Then meet dao WanXuan, but pei her awhile jiu go school ler. Chinese paper 3 like stupid, waste of time. Then went hke to study with 三八, Stella and Crystal. Meet dao ZiJie that clique. I stared into the space more than I studied, lol! Then saw my pri sch teachers, my beloved MrsQuek and MsSanthana. I missed them alot alot! :D And then daqiu-d awhile and went back school for ss exam. I barely had time to finish, but I think my sbq not bad barhs. Then seq, blahblahblah. :/

Tomorrow's el papers. Weeweets! :D And then jiu can go shopping on thurs lers. HAHAHAHRHS. Maybe later meeting 三八 again, but not sure ley. I feel like vballing. (!)

2009-09-06T10:08:00.004+08:00

I loved the air, loved the cold, loved the rain, loved the freedom, loved that wind, loved everything. But no longer .

I've locked my heart, it's inacessible to anybody already.
The key, was within this guy's heart, burnt along with his love.
Not loving anymore.

I'm tired.

Tomorrow's N'level.

Those who are out to hurt me with your crude comments, save it for yourself. You brought it all to yourself, I look down on you. Cowards !

2009-09-05T19:15:00.002+08:00

Stress ahhhhhhhhhhh . (!!)

Eff-ing bored now, I don't know who to text at all. x.x
Ever felt like closing your eyes ans sleep forever?
That's what I'm feeling right now.

Hold on, don't let go.
Accoompany me through the hardest period of my life.
I don't want to fall apart, but I can't stand either.
Be my cluth and guide me through.

2009-09-05T10:15:00.001+08:00

Tired .

Last three days to study like insane for ss paper. (!)
Everybody, gambatte ehs! :D
Jiayou jiayou.

xoxo,

2009-09-04T20:29:00.003+08:00

I really don't feel like crying anymore, don't feel like making others worry about me anymore, don't feel like. Give me some more time, I'll be able to get over all these soon. Pinky promise. I won't let you guys down again. I just wish to be ordinary. No more vulgarities, no more love, no more hatred.

Study, and study, and study! :D

I just can't believe that one day you're here, the next you are gone.

2009-09-04T19:55:00.002+08:00

Ain't closing this blog, just yet. HAHAHRHS. Somehow my fingers will find it's way to blogger.com. No idea why, simply elated today. I know I looked like as though people owed me millions today, but nahs, I'm actually happy, and is very very happy. Heard from Yahyah that I got 70 out of 80 for maths paper 1 which I went back school to take last fri. Looks like my hard work did paid off uhs, HAHARHS. But nahs, I'm aiming for full marks for maths paper 1, so shall do more and more and more practices! :D And super confident about my mother tongue papers, confirm get A1 de ley. HAHARHS. So, concentrate on ss now. I can't flunk ss, must prove her wrong. See me kick your butt, WAHAHAHAHRHS. Study, and study, and study! :D

Monday's mother tongue paper! :D

xoxo,
pangpang.

I'm perfectly fine already.

2009-09-03T12:33:00.000+08:00

RELINK, TYVM.

WWW.XINYIPANG.LIVEJOURNAL.COM ! :D

2009-09-02T10:44:00.002+08:00

我是宅女. (!!)

I've not step my foot out of my house for almost a week already, lol!
Alright, study & study & more studyzx .

A rainbow shows up no matter how heavy the rain once were.

Smiles, (:

2009-09-01T19:12:00.002+08:00

You .

I'll never forget you.
No matter how hard I tried, those traces of you ain't going to be washed away.
No matter who passed by my life, you're still the one I dearly misses.
No matter how many chapters there was in my love story, you're still the main character.
I never knew one could love one so dear, never knew a heart could ache for so long.
You're not just a passerby, you're not just a string of words.
To me, you meant everything.
You gave me happiness, you brought me smiles, you taught me to dream, you promised future.
You was the one who held me tight when my world fell apart, you was the one that reassured me everything's fine.
You are that person missing from my heart, you.
Time has already washed away those hatred when you broke your promises.
But the love's still so clear.
You're gone forever, but this love ain't going to.
I did tried to move on, did tried to get over, did tried everything I can.
You left me, and taught me independence.
But people says my independence ain't good.
Too independent that I always screw up things on my own.
Even after screwing up things, I never did tried to seek help.
Because I'm afraid, this stranger's going hurt me.
Loved once so deeply, it's enough.
I won't love anymore.
I'm afraid of the coldness in the night without warm messages telling me to sleep tight.
I'm afraid of being lost in this world, not knowing where to go.
I'm afraid, because I was hurt once.
How useless I am, I know.
But I'm vulnerable to it, because my heart has lost all faith.

Wo ai de ren ah, ni dong wo de xin zai wei ni ku qi mar? )':

2009-09-01T08:51:00.004+08:00

Tired .

早就有心理准備﹐當你說要分手的時候﹐我不會哭﹐更不會心傷﹐但當你轉身離去﹐心為何痛得讓我無法呼吸﹖

2009-08-31T08:12:00.003+08:00

Menstrual cramps does kill . (!)

I've been like rolling on my bed since it started to cramp. No amount of panadols are going to help at all. Especially after I've ate those for cold, those for headaches and now, those for menstrual. Why must girls go through this kind of suffering every month? ): Stupid headache, it's making me unable to sit up and think. I can only lie down on bed and start remembering that hurtful past. Stupid cold, making me wear his jacket and missing his smell and stupid sorethroat making me eat those strepsils he bought the other time. Stupid memstrual cramp, making me feel so vulnerable to the changes going around me. No longer the special girl for him, just an ordinary friend. ):

Alright, I've been skipping school for a longlongg time until my mum can't be bothered with me anymore. Especially on those days whereby it's going to be boring and interaction with people. Fine, I'll admit that I'm very shy. HAHARHS.

I can overcome all these, I have chocolateeees to accompany me! :D

Forever, that word is spelt without an I, without an U.

PS. TEXT ME YOUR NAME AGAIN, THANKS.
I'VE LOST EVERYBODYYYY'S NUMBER AGAIN.

2009-08-29T08:19:00.002+08:00

SUPER DUPER UBER BAD SORETHROAT! D;

It's killing me, (!)
Bang the door, bang the wall.

I need a rest, all the stress is suffocating me.

2009-08-28T16:36:00.002+08:00

Went school for Maths mock test earlier on. There's more to come, bio and ss next week. And N'level is just round the corner. (!)

Feel so stress lurhs, !@#$%^&*&^%$#@!

And some things I want to proclaim.
Firstly, I'm already single.
And secondly, I'm not v friendly.

So, those you-know-whozx, shut your blocked asshole up.

2009-08-27T19:45:00.006+08:00

Something's wrong with my facebook, !@#$%^&*

Nothing lasts, nobody's going to love one forever.
I'm not going to get vexed up over unimportant stuffs anymore.
Especially eversince I found out that I was never part of your future.
You are so willing to give up on me for your own future.
I'm so unimportant, I'm so unappreciated.
No more all over again, no third chance, no more love.
Now, shake hands and say goodbye, peace \m/
This is it, fulstop.

Memories are like high tides always swallowing me into this sea of no ending misery.
All those traces of tears that dropped for you has vaporised a long long time ago already.
It has been a year, but it felt just like yesterday.
The love so true, so real, yet gone.
Those smiles, forgotten, and abandoned.
Time waits for no one, just like now will eventually become the past.
Everything's the past.
Looking back occasionally, to remind myself to be not be stupid anymore.
That no man is worth that hundred percent.
Working for a better tomorrow, striving for a better future.
Because I know I'll eventually be relying on my ownself.

School is a building, it always will be. Now, boring, And it will always be. Bus-d to CausewayPoint with Faiz. on the bus, there was this person who sat like as though he was in some coffeeshop. Then he/she spitted in the bus. And he/she started pulling his/her already half-bald hair to eat. {Gross!} Then, he/she started talking to people who board the bus but everybody ignored him/her. After we alighted at CausewayPoint, Faiz say he/she only eat white hair, don't eat black hair. {I want to pukkkke! @.@} Feel terribly hungry until no energy to puke, lol. So he accompanied me to KFC to eat, though he can't eat because he fasting. Felt v bad while eating, :/ Walked about and saw alot of Chipzx and Dalezx. I badly want them, they all went hiding when I went there the other time. (!) And, home sweet home! There's no place better than home. :D

TEN DAYS TO N'LEVEL! :D

And I suddenly remember I have a tagboard, LOL.
It wasn't showing the past few days, my slow like fcuk internet.
Passby: HAHA. It's his maid that caused our relationship to end. What a joke, right. Laughs.
Iris say's , ♥: HAHAHAHAHARHS.
PEIPEI: Hahas. Breeakkkk le lorhs. Still need intro mehs? HAHA.
x.SHARON! :D: Linkedd. You already change to onsugar ler what, still ask me link. Smack yuo ehs.
Zhengyang: LESBIAN! \m/ Lai larhs, wo pa ni harhs? HAHAHA.

ps. Chem is a killer. (!)

With loves,

2009-08-25T15:27:00.006+08:00

Broke up .
& that was the fulstop.

Broke up already, I guess there's no need to tell anyone who he is. Thanks for that jacket, thanks for those handphone chains, thanks for those rings, thanks for those necklances, thanks for that pair of earrings. Thanks for those memories we shared, but it's over this time. Let's forget every unhappy incidents and keep in mind those happy times we had. I'm not going to cry like any imature children for this broken relationship. Smiles, (: Nothing is going to pull me down.

Happy Birthday to 三八! :D
Watching Nc movies ain't 了不起, but going clubbing to see hunks is a big great deal. HAHA! With truckloads of lovvvve, <33s

I'm abitious.
So I shall murder my comp and phone for these few days to study my already 烂到不行 social studies. HAHA!

14 MORE DAYS TO N'LEVEL ! :D

With loves,

Suck .

2009-08-24T15:32:00.003+08:00

All this feelingzx sucks . D:

I'm super duper uber de moody now. Guess it's the end. I don't have a choice of words because I know everything I say is going to hurt the both of us. I don't bear to delete his number, I don't bear to delete his messages, but I don't bear to hurt you either. I'm v vexed, no mood to talk to anybody at all. Hungry, but I don't want to eat. Let me die and be free of all these sufferings, please.

你是爱我的，不是吗？):

I .

2009-08-23T15:47:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to say, I don't know to start from where. I feel terrible . That's all.

Bf & Gf .

2009-08-22T08:19:00.001+08:00

有一个男孩和一个女孩从小一起长大，青梅竹马. 他们小时候，一次，男孩对女孩说：“我是你的BF……” 女孩问：“什么是BF？” 男孩说：“是Best Friend的意思。后来他们长大了，又一次，男孩对女孩说：“我是你的BF……” 女孩问：“什么是BF？” 男孩说：“是Boy Friend的意思。” 再后来他们结婚生子，一起生活了一辈子，幸幸福福，美美满满。一直到他们到了风烛残年…… 夕阳下，两位白发苍苍的老人—— 男孩对女孩说：“我是你的BF……" 女孩问：“什么是BF？” 男孩微笑回答“Be Forever！”有一个女孩和一个男孩从小一起长大，青梅竹马。他们小时候，一次，女孩对男孩说：“我是你的GF……” 男孩问：“什么是GF？” 女孩说：“是Good Friend的意思。后来他们长大了，又一次，女孩对男孩说：“我是你的GF……” 男孩问：“什么是GF？” 女孩说：“是Girl Friend的意思。”再后来他们结婚生子，一起生活了一辈子，幸幸福福，美美满满．一直到他们到了风烛残年…… 夕阳下，两位白发苍苍的老人—— 女孩对男孩说：“我是你的 GF……＂男孩问：“什么是GF？”女孩微笑回答：“Give Forever！”

Baby's sick, again. ):
Get well soon.

7th month .

2009-08-20T17:12:00.004+08:00

孤獨的清晨﹐有誰來驅走你的寂寞呢﹖
悶熱的下午﹐有誰來陪你聊聊天呢﹖
寒冷的夜裡﹐有誰來溫暖你的腳呢﹖
痛苦的時候﹐有誰來撫平你的創傷呢﹖
哀愁的時候﹐有誰來抒解你的陰郁呢﹖
失意的時候﹐有誰來鼓勵你一切都不會有問題呢﹖

It's th 7th Month now, (!)
No more going out at night, no more supper.
No tapping of shoulders, no turning back when somebody calls me at night.

I applied for leave for selfstudy at home, but that somebody rejected it. !@#$%^&* She said I'm going to fail my N'level, bloody hell. I will neverrrr fail my N'level, she can save all her cursings to herself. *&^%$#@!

No mood to blog already, bad mood today.

Mp3 .

2009-08-19T14:03:00.005+08:00

School is boring like usual.
Students don't come, teachers don't come either.

This Creative Zen Mozaic is going to be mineeee! :D
Weeweeeeeeets!

Caught WhereGotGhost with my boy yesterday at Lot1. I'll rate it 4.5/5. (!) Although the filming is not extremeextreme good, but the storyline is v. appealing to everybody. Walked about and bought blinkblink stickers for my phone. And tada- My phone is blink-ily blinkblink now! :D Adore my phone loads now. Teehees.

STUDY, STUDY & STUDY !
I failed combined humanities and combined sciences. Class position is 14th and level position is 35th. ): Shrugs.

Boyf .

2009-08-17T14:18:00.003+08:00

I LOVVVVE MY BOYF . (!)

No special whyzxzx, just feel like ranting. Got nagged by my mum for my v. lousy N'lvl prelim results. But I still feel that I did not do until v. lousy what. Shrugs. I know my sister 3rd in class v. liao bu qi, but who knows what she will get when she go up to sec sch ley. I also got get 1st or 2nd or 3rd in class de lorhs. Dua sai arhs ? Stupidddd, stop comparing us lurhs. We're two diff person. @#$&%^&%#%$&*@

I want to study. (!!)

Current mood: 1234 by Plain White T's
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely gettin' mad, I'm so glad I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

Yesterday .

2009-08-17T13:39:00.003+08:00

You have a magical power, I could never bring myself to be angry with you. How long will we last, I have no idea. But right now, I'm head over heels for you. This is the kind of happiness I need.

Wanted to catch Where Got Ghost at CausewayPoint yesterday but it was fullhouse, so gave up on it. Then we went to shopppp around. Teehees. Bought that ribbon ring which broke the other time again, I lovvve the design alot alot. Then he bought me a blinkblink derhs PANGPANG handphone strap from GiftAName. Then went Helen and bought a necklance, which says forever. Teehees. Also bought a handphone pouch. And ate KFC's bandittopockett for dinner. Then bus-d to BukitPanjangPlaza and walked around, bought my hairclip and hairband. And went to TimesZone, I wasted $15 on that %$%#$%^ poohbear which I couldn't get in the end. Nevermind, I lovvvvvvve chipmunks more. Wanted to go home already but it was raining, hence went library read my favvvv chinese love story. And home sweet home . (:

Was walking to school went my stomach ached. Then rushed home, and intended to go school at 9am, but I feel giddy. So I went to sleep and I just woke up. Heehees.

Going to baby's house to slack and study later. Hahs. I want watch teeveeee! :D

Over .

2009-08-14T13:32:00.003+08:00

Because it's over .

I keep on telling myself and everybody it's over, but what eventually comes to my mind are just more cherdzx and more dejianzx. What's wrong? I have no idea. It's like a piece of me is missing, it's like I don't know where to go and what to do. Who said I'm independent? I'm not. I need a shoulder to rely on, a person to lead me on, an anticipation for better life. I need motivation, need reliance, need love. ):

Past = cherd-ed
Can't think about you anymore, because I have a boy who loves me truly.

I feel v lousy now. ):

STAY POSITIVE, I STILL HAVE MY CLOSE FRIENDZX AND BELOVVVVED BOYF THERE FOR ME. YEAH, SMILE ! (:

Home .

2009-08-13T09:31:00.004+08:00

Passby.
No idea? :/

Not going school today, I'm v tired and I am voice-less now. Alright, today not meeting up with him . Abit lost, don't know what to do. But well, we couldn't stick with each other everyday. I lovvvve the hazelnut chocolate he bought! Teehees. Feel so blessed to have a boyf like him. HAHA! :D

Yahyah and 三八 tricked me! Grr. I really don't know what a pimple look like what. x.x Suspect I'm really v stupid now.

Yesterday .

2009-08-11T14:07:00.002+08:00

Passby.
Firstly, yes. Secondly, he's a past.

Went causewaypoint with baby yesterday, he trest me to pizzahut. Then he bought 2rings, 1necklance, 1pair of earrings for me. But one of the rings is stupidly lousy, I tried to pull it from the price tag thingy. Then that v soft piece of metal broke. Lol, advices to all. Minibit's rings are only meant for v gentle people. But I got another star ring, hehhehs! :D

Going meet him after his school ends later for dinner. Hahs. And maybe buy n'level maths book too. Hahs.

Sad .

2009-08-08T10:00:00.001+08:00

有人夸我勇敢
一直都在微笑的我
忽然流下泪滴

Baby's still asleep. ):

Yesterday .

2009-08-08T08:18:00.002+08:00

Went tahmanjurong with celine and elaine. Wanted to play pool and intended to put elaine's dog, Star, at the pet shop to cut his nails while we play. But the guy say Star's going to struggle, so, nahs. Ended up, we dabao kfc and walkedddd to elaine's house which was eff-ing far. After eating and crapping, celine and I went off. I went to meet baby at his house. Hahs. He bought me strepsils and coke, contradict horhs? Give me strepsiils to get rid of my sorethroat and give me coke to worsen it. x.x Anyway, yesterday was a veryvery happy day with baby! :D Thanks for loving me so much, I loveeee you too! Hahs.

Later going baby's house to study chem. Teehees.

Attached .

2009-08-06T15:19:00.002+08:00

A quick post! :D

Don't ask me who I'm attached to, I'm just attached. HAHA! I will tell everybodyyyy when our relationship is stable. Fifth August TwoThousandAndNine . (: Move on, nothing's worth the tear. Stay strong, because nothing's going to pull me down. I have my wings, a smile and will to move on.

Ohyeahs, advance Happy Birthday to Mummy Kwok ! :D

Quick Post.

2009-08-05T13:52:00.002+08:00

Brr, I don't know why she diao-d me. I just feel so not okay by it. Stupid . Yihuan, yahyah and sanba will know who barhs. x.x Parents banned me from using comp, at friend's house now. Later going back school for art lessons. Mdm Keh pull my ears ley. :/ Caught harrypotter with yihuan and her friend. Movie's totally stupid, the second stupidest ever since iceage3. Grr. Stupid gaston and ahboon, don't have reply me again. Grr. Exams results are kanasai .

Emo .

2009-08-02T12:19:00.003+08:00

Love or lust, you know best.

I don't like talking at all, I don't love smiling.
Yet, I can only pretend.
Badly trying to be happy, but it just fall apart.

Those endless heartaches.
Bittersweet memories, why can it make me smile and cry at the same time?
Tormenting misses, why aren't you here?

Irony .

2009-08-01T19:31:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to type, and when I finish typing this, this is already a post. How irony people are. I'm just like bored, trying to find something to occupy time. Gaaaahs . I don't know why, don't know when, don't know how everything bacame like this. I feel so screwed up. I'm still not alright, neither am I going to be fine. Centre of my world is still I & I & more Izx . This is the second time I realise I'm so self-centred. Who cares . Blahhhhs.

I hate being a girl, menstral cramps do kill. (!)
Cousin's coming over later, she's starting school at NTU tomorrow. And my mum and singing praises of her, and nagging how lousy I am.
I'm envious okay, I want to get into a university too.
I promised grandpa I will make it, so I will.

Grandpa, I miss you.
Hope you're here to see how I had been after you've left. I'm totally wrecked.

Smile. (:

Me .

2009-08-01T11:12:00.002+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2009-08-01T11:05:00.000+08:00

Let me cry, I'm not alright at all.
Not the least.

Tired, what has gone wrong? ):

Loved the night when we were togehter, now, I hate nights. Because it always reminds me that I'm on my own already.

2009-07-31T14:40:00.000+08:00

堕落.

I'm not suppose to be like this.
But I just can't breakfree.
Chains tying me, I can't move on.

Boy, when will you let me go? ):

Tired .

2009-07-30T16:11:00.001+08:00

Don't care ler, shall sleep until I shuangggg. (!)

Very pissed, very tired, very sick.
I don't know how to explain what I'm going through now.
Stress?
Moving on?
Or just that my attitude problem is coming back?

I don't feel like smiling, badly don't want.

Tired, when is everything going to end?

I remembered the past and let those tears flow. How deeply I loved, how hurt I was. Everything, heartaches and sweettalks. G o n e .

Sis .

2009-07-28T22:51:00.003+08:00

Just reached home, and my natural instinct is to switch on my comp. Thanks super duper uberrrr much to yahyah for helping us take that forgotten volleyball. Poor volleyball, I so duibuqi you. ): But bobian, I reach home already then my mama don't let me go out. Also no more cash to take bus either. Chinese oral was oh-no . Maths paper was easy, weeweeeets! Somemore I didn't even studied, so I guess everybody supposingly will pass? Good luck to everybody take f&n or d&t tomorrow! :D And all art students, let's burn midnight oil together uhs. Jyjy!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to 小妹, happy birthday to you! :D

Now 6yo already, shouldn't eat so much already uhs. You growing fatter and fatter already. Still, xoxo! {insert manymany heartzx}

Ps. 大姐最最最最爱你了! ♥

Can I wish a bday wish on my sis's bday?
I badly want a mediumsized LV Neverfull bag, though I know it's really veryvery common. But don't you guys find it very good to put things? Please stop suggesting me to use plasticbags. x.x

Blahhhhs, being a nice sister. I gave her my last $25 left for this month to buy whatever she want. Don't think it's little okay? She's just 6yo, L O L.

愛了

2009-07-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

愛了就是愛了，無需掩飾不必扭捏。
你可以不愛我，但是我愛你。
我可以愛你，但我不必放棄自己。
勇敢示弱，不必在你我之間爭奪勝者寶座。
感覺是起點，但婚姻可以不必是終點。
愛情本身就是完滿，無需添加更多…

Art .

2009-07-27T21:36:00.002+08:00

Fcuk, just recieved news that my canvas is incomplete. Piangzx, I thought I finish already and continue with my prep work already ley. I'm told that I will fail with that incomplete canvas ley, d i e. D:

I haven't start on maths yet, and I really no mood to even study already. Don't care already, fail or not also is just prelim. :/ I know, my everything-will-go-alright attitude will kill me soon. But don't worry, I did studied on sunday. So I should be able to cope? Hope so. My damn fcuking two legs are hurting with blisters. I feel so distress, shag and demoralised now. (!) Art's undone, maths not studied. I regret so much for having pon-d so much art classes. ):

Hais, moodswing .

Nights.

Tired .

2009-07-26T10:58:00.002+08:00

Tired . ):
Memories drowned me in tears again.
I don't understand why I deserve all those hurts.
Is it plain stupidity or am I just too easy to bully?
Is it wrong to trust?
How to forgive?
And nonetheless, forget everything?
I wish, I could forget everything and start life all over again.

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开为什么还要我用微笑来带过

Never .

2009-07-25T11:24:00.003+08:00

I WILL NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER TRUST ANYBODY AGAIN. (!)

You .

2009-07-25T10:08:00.002+08:00

Youuuu, why?
I've been dreaming about you lately.

It's like nothing is right, but I don't know what is wrong.
Just you, just me, or both of us?
I feel so stress these few days.

我不会爱
拥抱总是太沉太慢
甜蜜常常少说一段
用心太深看不出来
当你已渐分出了除我之外的温暖
两人的幸福成了三人拥挤不堪
我试着填满心碎在下一块

Sad .

2009-07-24T13:15:00.001+08:00

Don't know why I cried too, I'm just sad, no specific reasons. ):

Sometimes I wonder, who am I waiting for?
That past you will never be back.

Wake up, I will wake up.

Tired .

2009-07-23T20:45:00.003+08:00

Had been studying like crazyyyy with the usual clique the past few days, until I'm tired like fcuk now. I think I've flunked my chem, I don't even know what the question was talking about. Shyt. I slept 4hrs today. .!. I badly need some sleep. Tomorrow's el paper2, then after that, two days of rest. Thanks god that there's actually weekends. August lost her phone at mac today, don't know which fcuktard took it. Hope his/her hand rot! And sorry to Yahyah for my bad attitude today.

I still remembered when my phone memory card died, I was so panick. All those photos we took together, are just gone like that. Sorry for having not let you know, I didn't deleted them. We tried to take photos, but none was nice. Or rather, it was just me that's not nice. I lost those photos, those smiles that we both had smiled for our love. I also lost you, lost your memories. It's over. I understand how it feels to lose something so dear, it's really just sosososo terrible.

Going sleep soon, anything text me. (:

2009-07-22T14:06:00.003+08:00

My heart is not ready to fall again. To you, I can say nothing but sorry. ):

I've really locked up myself, not willing to open my heart to anybody anymore. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't bring myself to trust or believe anybody anymore. I loved so deeply, got hurt so bad.

I'm so tired.
I need a shoulder to rely on, yet the one and only I can rely on, ain't mine.

Jiayou .

2009-07-21T14:14:00.002+08:00

Is it just my imagination or what?
Prelims are too unbelievably easy.
Even ss, I only read onc topic and it came out in SEQ.
Thnks god, lucky star must be shining on me! :D
So I shall just redo again those maths test papers for reviosion later.
Teacher said the paper is about the standard of last year's jurong paper1.
So, people, all your best! :D

Went for art after ss paper, painted and painted.
Mdm Keh treated all of us to rotiprata, luvvvvs! <33
She's such a sweetpie, haha!

I must get less than 10pts for my prelim, JiayouJiayou! :D

Zzz .

2009-07-20T12:49:00.002+08:00

Today's paper is easy like abc, zzz!
Wasted 48hours studying it, ROARRRRZX.
Tomorrow's ss, D I E .

Bastard .

2009-07-19T10:37:00.003+08:00

I hate it when people judge me without knowing who I really am. I don't even bloody know you, why keep on talking bad about me?! Fcuktard, you laoahpek. I know, you want gain popularity, bastard. But you still didn't got it. You did attracted alot of attention, but people who had seen you before just think you're a clown. That's not popularity, it's about the same as writing disgrace on your face and walk about. You know who you are, stalker of my blog. I know how true I am to everybody, if they don't understand how true I am to them, I won't be treating them nice. And backstabbing rebounds, it get back to you no matter what. Continue bullshiting about me and I'm going to make sure you become lanjiao-less very soon. I hate, I hate cowards like you. Bark around, bastard! .!.

Detest .

2009-07-19T09:49:00.003+08:00

我讨厌, 讨厌这样的我, 讨厌她牵着你的手, 讨厌你心里已经没有了我!

Stab me through the hurt, the heartache's too pain for me to endure. I can't, I can't make it through. Why does it still hurts so much?! I thought I'm over it. I thought I don't love anymore. I thought I could really say goodbye. I thought I could live on. I couldn't, I just can't. I'm weak, I'm not as strongwilled as people thinks I am. Learning not to drop a tear, I swallowed all my sorrows down. Believe me, I've never been fine ever since you left me. I did tried, boy, but I can't. I can't forget a guy who meant everything to me. I feel so lost, what can I do? Dejian, what am I suppose to do? ):

I will .

2009-07-18T10:15:00.002+08:00

I tilt my head up so that those tears won't flow. I''ll stay positive and keep on smiling. Yhe sky ain't going to fall, it's not doomsday yet. It's just the same as all those minutes I've lived. I want it, I got it. Smile, I can't let fate beat me down. Live up with those shortcomings, I'll survive all through. (:

Last .

2009-07-18T00:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to do, other than pretending to be happy. Everybody knew, I'm the last to know. WHY? I thought we were close friends.

Wake up .

2009-07-16T17:41:00.004+08:00

I don't like nights, it makes me miss you all over again.
Every night, I cries.
In memory of you, lost kins, and memories of being bullied.
How did I survived through?

I thought, I would die .

It's just a dream.
And I'll wake up. (:

Tired .

2009-07-16T16:38:00.002+08:00

I missed volleyball-ing, but bobian, prelimzx. Tomorrow got chinese listening compre! But not going to get release after it, school cheat our feeling. :( I thought I could spend the rest of tomorrow doing art when I was told of that prelim paper. Nevermind, monday got geog paper. Got to study, since our geog teacher really don't give our results a shyt. Did cme reflections, it's like boliao. But bobian, have to do also. Chem is like uh-huh, because I forgot to bring all the notes. How I wish MrKenneth is back, L O L. The most handsome teacher in the whole Singapore ley. Must be because of Tingzhi's tuition teacher, make me yearn for a handsome teacher too. Played volleyball during PE. I die lers, the ball goes everywhere, just not straight. Then recess walked around and then, ART! :D But one period is taken away by that temperature taking thingy, waste of time. Then, maths. I am so proud of myself, I got all answers right for the entire paper. After that was CME, but teacher went through SS instead. Somehow, I can hear that she's very tired. Don't know why, because of us? Don't know. Then last period was english, love it manzx. Hahas!

Was walking home when I met Yihuan, then we went js to eat. Chatted until 3plus and came home. 6plus meeting her to go hke study. :D Yihuan, STUDY! If not, I'll kick your butt and land you to Mars. Hahas!

Keep on smiling.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

爱过不伤心, 从此我如此安慰我自己.
记忆里, 我们曲折爱情多么美丽.

Studied .

2009-07-15T22:00:00.003+08:00

Tingzhi has a hotttt tuition teacher, so good. Mine is like all laoahpeks, ._. Fine fine, I see them once every two months because I always pon? Hahas. Studied with Augustina just now at hke. Got stucked in a traffic jam on my way home, think there's a caraccident infront. But I really don't give it a shyt. So, home safetly. (:

I wish you were there.

Memories .

2009-07-15T15:20:00.004+08:00

Fading memories, blank background and clearer you, my love.

I dreamt a small little boy with gold hair and blue eyes walking towards me, he told me to keep on smiling and he disappeared. It's just amazing. Why am I dreaming of those weird people I've never seen before? Gaaaahs, don't know why. x.x

I feel so insecure, so unsure.
Can't help not panicking, baby, why aren't you there to lead me now?
I feel so, lost .

我爱你你爱我是不是还不够
我不懂为什么付出的全落空无重力爱坠落
粉身碎骨的我不受控制的手还能抓住什么

Because love makes you tired.
I'm suppose to understand that is not you don't love anymore, suppose to understand you're just tired.
Because I'm suppose to be strong, because I'm suppose to .

Can I cry now?
Love's not enough to overcome everything.

Don't .

2009-07-14T21:58:00.002+08:00

Don't ask me go out anymore.

I need to save $$, because I can't stand this lousy specs I'm wearing.
It's getting on my nerves, and I stupidly threw away my left eye contact lens set.
Kill me, please.

Any careless-er I could get?
I doubt.

And I need a hug, from this special guy. (:

Happy .

2009-07-14T21:20:00.002+08:00

Today's a happyhappy day. (!)
I can't stop laughing, I don't know why ehs. I kept on blabbering today, and I did the stupidest thing anybody will do in a GCE oral exam. I said: "erm, yeah, then, so, yah", many times. D I E . Prelims was alright, but the oral made me want to cry. Ohmy, I'm such an idiot. Kill me please, T.T!

Memories are beautiful.
Those important men in my life, I'll never forget.
Thinking about you all, make me smile from the bottom of my heart.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Is slap that lust, kick the love, I'm brokened.
Not slap pangpang, kick her ass, she's brokened. (!)

ROFL .

w luvvvvs,

Leave .

2009-07-13T17:39:00.001+08:00

请在我后悔之前离开我 .

Keep on smiling, I will be fine.
I promised you to be happy, I will.

Super duper uber tiredddd now derhs, don't know why. Cannot be sick tomorrow, (!) If sick, I will go and bang the wall. L O L .

w luvvvvs,

Bored .

2009-07-13T16:47:00.002+08:00

School was boring as usual. (!)
Mdm Keh and Mdm Kaur don't have come, think they're sick.
Get well soon! :D

Met up with that slowpoke Millie, then went to slack around. Went to Yanmei's house to take volleyball to play. And her house that lift is freakyyyy, I screamed until my throat hurts now. Then, played awhile at hke. After that, went back to put the volleyball and walked to bubbleteashop. Bought my belovedd freshwatermeloniceblendedwithoutpearl. <33

I've learnt to look ahead, and stop turning back already.

Headache .

2009-07-12T20:23:00.004+08:00

After 1hr30mins of drawing, my head's like spliting. I just can't concentrate, pour cold water over me please. (!) I feel very dizzy everytime I concentrate, the feeling suckkkks lurhs. Stupid headache. Oh yea, I'm having my N level el oral exam this tues! :D I'm excited rather than worried, vexed etc. I'm such a weirdo. :/ Arghh, that splitting headache is killing me. Fcuk it.

Boy, I miss you.

太多人经过我的生命, 唯独你让我动了心.
太多事触动了我的心灵, 唯独你让我眷念不已.

Miss .

2009-07-12T11:17:00.003+08:00

我曾经，离幸福很近很近，近到以为一伸手，就能碰触到天堂。
然而，真正伸出了手，才发现说谓的幸福，只是不堪一击的泡沫，稍一碰触就会破碎。
而爱情，就像握在手中的沙，越是用力想握牢它，就越快自指缝流逝，无论如何紧握双拳都是徒劳。
梦醒了、心冷了，爱情，也失去了，无助地掬了满掌空虚。
凝视着空荡荡的双手，从此，再也不相信天堂，不相信承诺，不相信——
爱情。

Study .

2009-07-12T08:45:00.004+08:00

I made up my mind to really, seriously, go home after school every tues, wed and thurs to study, study and study. On mon and fri then I shall go hke, or maybe some other places? No idea. :D Oh well, prelims starting on tues this week. Bloody hell. It's this week, for ohmyfcukinggoodness. And I've been trying to complete my art prep work, but hellooooh, I always get "disturbed" everywhere, and it's very annoying indeed. Yah, S H Y T . I targeted at least an A2 for my art, if I didn't slacked around for the past half year, it was within an arm's distance. Now, it's above the clouds, unreachable. Gaaaahs, enough of all those whinings. It won't help me complete it anyway.

So, well, stay at home today and try to complete as much as possible. Actually, I'm banned from going out already, but well, I have no intentions to go out as well. HAHA!

STUDY, STUDY & STUDY ! <33

I couldn't fall asleep, so I rewatch-d harrypotter again and again. Life-less me, LOL .

PS. Life's a dream.

Tired .

2009-07-11T13:14:00.003+08:00

你是对的人
却在错的时间　错的地点出现

I'm super duper uber proudddd of myself derhs.
Yesterday, some fcukers volunteered me some ciggs and drugs.
And I said NO. (!)
See, I told you guys I'm pure blood guai kia already.

Gaaaahs, banned from going out.
I know alot of people is going to miss me, but bobian. :/ Nevermind, I'm also very tired, feel like sleeping. Roars, life's so boring.

Promises are meant to be brokened.

Positive .

2009-07-11T11:02:00.003+08:00

I'm learning to be positive, don't break my faith with just a hello.
Memories are beaustiful enough to keep forever.
Forgive all the wrongdoings and forget those brokened promises.
I will keep on smiling, keep on smiling. (:

Over .

2009-07-10T23:03:00.003+08:00

Sleep tight, my dear.
Tomorrow is going to be a better day. (:

How I long for those iloveyou-s every night.
Night falls, making me miss you even more.
But now, it's all over.

Boy, I really will be alright.

Fairytales ain't meant for commoners.
Only the prince and princess will live happily ever after.

Why .

2009-07-10T21:44:00.004+08:00

Explain to me why I need a boyfriend .
I can't see a reason to get myself attached to somebody else other than him.
Especially when everybody knows it won't last.
It's that typical, people comes and goes.
Stupid, I rather be on my own and never give people the opportunity to hurt me.

I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover.
Love you forever, but now I'm sober.

Over .

2009-07-10T10:05:00.005+08:00

I'm over your eyes, I'm over your touch.
And I'm over the promises that you've broken .

Caught 3D Ice Age, Dawn of the Dinosaurs with 三八&co at Marina Square.
The movie is pretty boring, I will say.
The whole trip was quiet, awkward and freezing cold.
Had BurgerKing for dinner, my stomach almost burst. (!)

How I wish I have a boyfriend who will get me that Domo plushie. :/
Alright, I shall keep on dreaming.

Do I really behave like a ahlian? {Shrugs}
I'm not, I'm a pure blood guai kia .
Don't offer me ciggs anymore, I seriously don't smoke.
And I hate the smell of it.

Bored .

2009-07-09T10:32:00.004+08:00

I had a weird dream, I dreamt I met two bluehair people on a train. They speak some ahpuhnehh language and then one of them look into my eyes and I woke up . It's such a random dream. :/

Bored, I've got absolute nothing to do.
School doesn't seems bad after all, with all the laughters and jokes.
Elearning sucks to the core, @%#*@%# .

Sick of relationships, I'm satisfied with those memories.
If you're a better man, find a better woman, because I'm not.

Escape .

2009-07-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

Escaping, not because I don't love you anymore, because I learnt how to love you.

New blog, new beginning. (!)
/Don't know I say how many zillionzxzx times already. :x

I will not go hke as often as I used to anymore, so, don't miss me too much yeahs? :D I've been sneezing alot these few days when I'm at home, must be got some people missing me too much. Maybe talking bad about me hurhur. :/

Study, study & study! <33

Town-d with Iris, only bought a couple dress with her. Sorta regret after getting it, but nevermind, it's our 4th couple thing! :D And I think I seriously need to change my specs because I can't see anything nice anywhere, L O L .

Tired, off to bed!

w luvvvvvs,